This short entry comes hot off the presses of my life. More specifically it occurred sometime between the hours of 12:00AM and 7:00AM Saturday morning. I know what you're thinking, "This must have been some crazy party Jeremy went to…" and you'd be wrong. No partying, I didn't have a single drop to drink and even more bizarre, I was asleep for the entire thing. Confused yet?
Really this story is at least two months in the making. Back in December I observed the male winter solstice ritual of laziness by not shaving. Not only would I have more time in the mornings but it would also aid in adapting to the colder climate which can be quite harsh for runners. By mid February I was sporting a nice, warm, protective winter running beard. Life was good, living the dream.
Then the dream ended…
I woke up Saturday morning feeling quite tired. I stumbled to my bathroom and caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror. The glance turned into a confused stare and slowly the reality started to sink in.
"You have got to be kidding me."
Those were my exact words as I pieced together what must have happened. Staring back at me was someone who looked quite familiar except for the three large stripes right through the heart of my beard. There in the sink was the weapon, laying in a shallow pool of hair.
I had apparently slept walked into my bathroom in the middle of the night and decided I could use a little trim. It wouldn't have been the first time sleep walking but it had been a while since my last nocturnal excursion, that I'm aware of. Unfortunately the damage was unsalvageable and I was forced to put it out of it's misery. Bye Bye Beardie.
It was later that day when I was trying to explain my new younger look to someone else did I realize how fortunate I was. It would have been so easy for dream Jeremy to have gotten carried away and continue styling the rest of my head. Normally I try to wrap things up and take something deeper away from my experiences, but this time the wounds are too fresh to take it lightly. So instead I have a warning for my dream self: Fear the Beard!!
