Speaking My Mind

This gem from my past occurred during my final Spring semester of college classes back in 2008. I was taking an Astronomy class with my friend Brandon just for fun and the class was meeting for one of our lab meetings in the evening. The class was down in one of the computer labs analyzing some data in which we were trying to fit some data to some theoretical model. After about an hour of adjusting values to get the best fit for the data the professor decided to take control and show the class what the fitted data was supposed to look like. He projected his Excel results onto the front wall and showed everyone just how well the data points fell onto his model for some binary star formation or something like that. While the rest of the class was looking attentively at the front of the class I glanced up at the professor's results and scoffed, "Pfff.....My data looks better than THAT!" Then I returned to whatever I was writing on the paper in front of me. It took a few seconds for me to process what had just transpired. I could feel the temperature rising in my cheeks as they turned red. I slowly raised my head to see Brandon sitting across from me just shaking his head at me. His expression on his face was telling me that I went too far. My gaze moved on to the rest of the class and I saw every pair of eyes on me, including those of the professors. I don't remember anything more about that class. This is just another instance of why you should think before you speak. Sometimes comments should go left unspoken.

It's All About Timing

Today's entry comes from the summer of 2008, soon after I had started a new job. Since it was a new job I wanted to make sure that during the first few weeks I tried to maintain a presence of professionalism. Freshly ironed shirts, nice pants, even continuing to wear a nice wrist watch even though it had died a few weeks earlier. The whole nine yards. Everything was going well and this day seemed to be fairly typical as I was sitting in an afternoon meeting. The meeting was running long and was going well beyond the time it was scheduled for. Out of habit I checked my watch to see exactly what time it was. After a moment of confusion after seeing that it was 8:48 A.M. I realized that I was trying to read the time from a dead watch. After trying to indiscreetly hide my watch I returned to listening with no further sense of time. A few minutes passed by and my boss leaned over to me and asked what time it was. It was obvious that he had seen me check my watch in the middle of the meeting and he too was curious to know how long the meeting had been going on for. Out of habit I instinctively checked my wrist again and again I was denied the correct time. My only response I had for him was, "I don't know." That's it. Nothing more. No explanation. "I don't know." From his point of view it must have looked like they had just hired some guy who can't even tell time. My boss gave me this questioning look which seemed to wonder why I wouldn't tell him the time even though I had clearly just checked my watch. It wasn't until well after the meeting that I realized what had transpired and just how inept I must have looked. By the time I had realized it it didn't seem like it was worth explaining why I wanted to keep the current time a secret from all others. My advice, watch out for meeting watch watchers.

Running In Place

It was the first couple of weeks of 2009 and I was just starting to pick up running in hopes of finishing a marathon. I went to the gym one day after work and began my workout on the treadmill. It was a quiet day and the only other person in the gym was the guy running on the treadmill next to mine. Straight in front of us was a television currently displaying the evening's news. Top of the headlines for this evening was the conviction of a child molester. Then they flashed the criminal's mug shot on the screen and the most prominent feature of the said criminal was an extremely "lazy eye". I'm talking about an eye that looked like it was going to jump ship the first shot it got. I decided, for whatever reason, that the appearance of this man on the screen was just the icebreaker I needed to start talking to my new running friend. "I can't tell, is he looking at you or is he looking at me?". The guy next to me turned his head to look at me and gazed right past me. Not because he was mad (well, maybe) or didn't see me, but because he too had a lazy eye! What are the chances that the only other person in the room, right next to me had a lazy eye as well? And why did I feel the urge to open up a dialogue with him? I decided to cut my workout short that day to prevent any more needless uncomfortable moments. Next time you find yourself running on a treadmill next to someone at the gym think twice before starting a conversation with them. There is nowhere to run, only the possibility to stumble over your words and end up on the ground humiliated.

In The Beginning

I would hardly consider my life exciting or in anyway out of the ordinary. As far as life goes I like to think I'm about par for the course. Yet time after time I somehow find myself in unbelievably awkward, outrageously humiliating and face burning embarrassing situations. These are the moments I'm aiming to capture here. To collect and share these moments which just might rival some of those zany moments that you think only happen in comedies. Hopefully you will read these and laugh or in some cases be thankful that you were not in my shoes.

Cheers, and Enjoy!

Jeremy