This Is Nuts

In case there are those who might be inclined to think that my embarrassing moments are all behind me this next story comes from a more recent encounter that occurred this past summer. I have to preface it by saying that it's not nearly as painful as the previous but much more comical. Think of it more as a reincarnation of a cartoon caper.

I was sitting on my couch watching some television while I was mixing up some gelato, and before you all get distracted, no, the gelato did not turn out well. Then I heard a sound which sounded to be coming from the kitchen. I didn't think it was too strange and that it was probably just one of my friends letting themselves into my home. I called out only half expecting any response and wasn't surprised when I got none. A minute later I heard a much louder cacophony of sound. Someone was definitely there. I walked to the kitchen, mixing bowl in hand only to discover that the entry door in the kitchen was still tightly closed. Very Strange. Then it happened again, only this time it came from behind me, from near the sink. I spun in place only to see two small black eyes staring back at me. It was a squirrel! A squirrel had chewed through the screen window above my sink and had climbed in and was now sitting on its haunches staring back at me. I didn't know what to do so I thought the best thing to do was to throw the fork I had been using for mixing at him. I missed but my fuzzy tailed friend took off running down the counter. I had him on the run so I did the first thing that came to mind and chased after him. Once he had reached the end of the counter and nowhere to go he turned around and once again we were face to furry face. Then the tables turned and he began running right at me and my instincts kicked in and I started running in the opposite direction. Soon it was me who was cornered in my small kitchen and I spun around. Utensil-less I found myself with no ammunition so I did the next best thing and started yelling at him. "Ahhhhh!!!" Over and over again I launched my verbal assault hoping my words would direct him towards the hole in the screen window from where he had come. After a minute of running back and forth, yelling and squeaking I finally managed to corral the squirrel back outside.

It was finally over. The intruder had left and as I looked around my kitchen at the chaos that had taken place in the preceding minutes I saw my cat staring quizzically from the door frame wondering what all the commotion was about and why I had to interrupt her from her afternoon nap. I guess the saying is true:
I scream,
Squirrels squeak,
We all scream,
When I make Italian ice cream.